I have two boys. They are beautiful, wonderful, strong, awesome boys. I love them very much. And I DO NOT wish they were girls. Dylan wears pink because he chooses too, and because it suits him (and I expect Isaac will probably be the same). He plays with a toy kitchen and helps with the housework because he thinks it's fun, and he likes real cooking too. We paint our nails and he wants pink hair like Mummy's too.. but we don't do these things because I wish he was a girl. We do them because I see no reason why mothers shouldn't be able to hang out and have fun with their sons in the same way they would/do with their daughters.
Here's what I know about Dylan (well, just a few things anyway!):
- He is strong, yet soft.
- He is bold and beautiful.
- He loves pink, and blue, and red, and green, and orange, and yellow, and purple, and any other colour as long as it's bright.
- He likes to play with cars and he likes to play with his kitchen.
- He wants a dolls' house and a new car for his birthday.
- He doesn't want to be a man when he grows up, or a lady, he just wants to be "Dylan".
- He is, as yet, entirely undefined by his gender, and he's happy that way.
- He rocks.
So, if Dylan can be happy with himself, without being stuck in a box (pink, or blue?), why is the rest of the world so eager to stamp him down and label him? Surely we should be encouraging children to be free in this way, to be able to enjoy themselves and express themselves, without worrying that they will be judged or told they're doing it wrong? It makes me a little sad when I see small girls being told that what they're wearing or doing is too 'boyish' and when I see small boys being told they're too 'girly'. They're just children. Let them be.
There's a saying, isn't there? 'It takes a real man to wear pink'. Dylan, of course, would disagree. He'd say it takes a real *person*, because that's what he sees when he looks in the mirror. It's funny, really, that at not-quite-three-yet he's more open-minded than people I know who have experienced so much of life.
I'm glad that we're raising our boys the way that we are. Undefined by their gender, able to express their thoughts and feelings when they need to, able to wear whatever they like, whenever they like, and able to think and speak for themselves. Let them wear pink, let them wear dresses if they like, let them paint their nails and dye their hair and wear make-up when they're older, if that's what they want to do.
Boys will be people, after all.
Alright, so I am possibly, probably, The World's Most Useless Blogger. I have been awful busy though, planning a surprise birthday party for my now-twenty-one-year-old brother. I feel fairly safe in talking about it here because I'm not sure he even really knows what a blog is (he doesn't really know much about the interwebs at all, and is probably pretty much the only twenty one year old in this country that this is true of!) and even if he did it's unlikely that he'll stumble across this blog in the next twenty hours and discover what we're planning. Especially as he's off to Colchester Zoo tomorrow to be a Zookeeper for the day (yes, that's what he wanted for his birthday! Well, he actually wanted to swim with sharks but it's too far so he's going to play with meerkats instead). Although, just in case the highly improbable has happened and he is reading this: Hello JJ, sorry I spoiled your birthday surprise. Hope you had fun at the zoo and your legs didn't get chewed off by a leopard. I'll buy you a drink either way. Big hugs, lotsa love..
It's been hard work keeping the surprise party under wraps. Not so much from JJ, but keeping it off Dylan's radar has not been easy. We've had to talk in code whenever he's been around so that he doesn't catch on and go and blow the whole thing! I think we might have managed it, hopefully! Just got tomorrow to get through, several bazillion (OK, slight exaggeration!) sandwiches to make, a hall to decorate, balloons to blow up and tie together, a cake to transport (CAREFULLY) to the hall, and that should be that. Ha, I make it sound so simple. Oh, yeah, and we only have an hour to decorate. Eek.
Still, it will hopefully all be worth it when he gets there and sees lots of people waiting to celebrate with him. I doubt he'll even notice the balloons! I'm going to go and blow them up anyway though.. it might help relieve some of the stress.
All together now: deep breath.. exhale..
I forgot! I knew I would!
In my defence, there was Christmas. And New Year. And lots of other days filled with clearly Very Important Things. But here I am, I'm back, and I'm blogging. Consider it a belated New Year's Resolution that I will try hard to remember to write something regularly, even if it's just a little something..
I'll be back tomorrow, after an evening with my mad family I'll probably need to vent!
